Kris Aquino, inupakan sa isang website – Cristy Fermin

Kris Aquino, inupakan sa isang website – Cristy Fermin

NU’NG MGA NAKARAANG linggo pa kami kinukulit-kinakalampag ng aming mga kaibigan para  basahin namin ang kopya ng sinulat ni Lourd de Veyra sa internet (www.spot.ph).

Paumanhin po, noon pa man ay aminado na kami, kung sa pamamagitan ng makina dadaanin ang labanan para makamit natin ang kasarinlan ay isang baldadong sundalo kami sa laban.

Kris Aquino, inupakan sa isang website – Cristy Fermin[ad#post-ad-box]


Para masilip namin ang YouTube ay kailangan pa naming mang-abala ng aming mga anak, itututok na nila sa dapat naming panoorin ang computer, kapag natapos na ay para kaming batang naliligaw sa Carriedo na hindi na namin uli alam ang aming gagawin.

Hanggang sa pagsusulat ng aming mga kolum ay makinilya pa rin ang aming ginagamit, mabuti na lang at nandiyan ang kaibigan-anak-anakan naming si Japs Gersin, ito ang tumitipa uli ng aming sinulat para padaanin sa e-mail.

Pero walang tigil ang pag-uudyok ng aming mga kaibigan na basahin namin ang sinulat ni Lourd de Veyra, isang musikerong balita nami’y malalim at progresibo, kaya nitong panahon ng bagyo ay nagpalabas kami ng kopya ng kanyang sinulat.

Tungkol kina Senador Noynoy Aquino at Kris Aquino ang paksa, nandu’n ang kanyang pananaw tungkol sa pagtakbo ng senador sa panguluhan, pati ang mga dapat nitong gawin kapag naging pangalawang Aquino na itong naupo sa Malacañang.

Bahagi ng sinulat ni Lourd de Veyra, “I should be the last person in the world to speak about posture, but compare that to his father’s gait. I would think twice about voting for someone who seems to allow himself to be verbally bullied around and humiliated by his youngest sister.

The youngest sister, for whom no barrier exists between the public’s right to know and her private life, including her baby’s toilet habits. The youngest sister, who has mastered the fine verbal art of too-much-information, her cerebral cortex directly connected to her mouth. The youngest sister, who if we go by her own words, should be the one running for president. After all she herself announced that she was “a young Ninoy” and her mother’s favorite—at a time when the entire nation was in the thralls of grief. Unfortunately (or fortunately), she has several more years to go before she turns 40, the minimum age to run. But what she lacks in qualification for candidacy, she makes up for in candor. Excessive amounts of it.

The youngest sister, whose patent tactlessness has now become a recognized part of Philippine daily life. Our lives would be empty without hearing her say something that sounds like nails across a blackboard. The scary part about her is how media seems to have a disturbing dependence on her every opinion when it comes to any subject that involves the “Aquino” name. Rioting farmers shot to death at Hacienda Luisita? Interview Kris. Stock market crashed? Malacañang razed to the ground? Three passenger planes collide?  Interview Kris. And she’ll even tell you about the Starbucks machiatto she drank. She’s like a car accident on SLEX—it’s horrible but you can’t look away.

People will say it’s about time to treat the presidency with seriousness and solemnity. The reasoning that our brand of democracy never goes anywhere is this: if we can make fun of the head of state, the occupant of the highest seat of power, then what’s sacred anymore? In the senator’s case, he no longer needs an image-demolition team from opponents—with a sister with brains in her mouth,” ayon kay Lourd de Veyra.

At lumundag na nang malayo-layo ang sumulat kapag dumating na ang panahong pangulo na nga ang kapatid ni Kris, ganito naman ang kanyang sabi, pakisundan po.

“His mother hated unsolicited advice, but we can’t help but give to kuya the following suggestions should he become the second President Aquino.

Never again let youngest sister get away with indirectly insulting girlfriend Shalani Soledad by insisting a lifetime of bachelorhood. Do get married soon, and do let condescending youngest sister pay for wedding.

Issue presidential decree: youngest sister should never, ever call him by that irritatingly sing-songy one-syllable name: “Nwwooooooy.”

Issue gag order on youngest sister—on whatever subject. Especially that schtick about her being a young Ninoy and her mother’s favorite. Before she completely smears family name.

Exile youngest sister to obscure African country (preferrably one with a protractedly bloody civil strife) if she does not shut up.

On second thought: just banish youngest sister, given her propensity for periodic involvements in truly embarrassing scandals,” pahayag pa rin ni Lourd de Veyra.

TINANGGAL NAMIN ANG bahaging tumutukoy sa kandidatura ni Senador Noynoy, ang mga komento lang ni Lourd de Veyra tungkol kay Kris Aquino ang inilabas namin, sa sinsero naming paniniwala na pampublikong pigura si Kris na dahil sa sobrang kasikatan ay hindi maaaring makaligtas sa mga ganitong uri ng pagpuna.

Cristy Per Minute
by Cristy Fermin