IT IS never easy to say goodbye. Minsan ay mapagbiro ang tadhana pagdating sa pag-ibig. Many were surprised when Billy Crawford and Nikki Gil ended their almost five-year relationship. Sa industriyang ito na kung saan sinasabing bihira ang nagtatagal na relasyon, nagsilbing ideal couple sina Nikki at Billy kaya marami ang hindi makapaniwala at nanghihinayang sa kinahinatnan ng kanilang relasyon.
Their talent agency, ALV Talent Circuit, has previously released a statement regarding the two stars’ break-up. We quote, “On behalf of our artists, Billy Crawford and Nikki Gil, we are greatly saddened by their admission that they have indeed mutually agreed to end their relationship of more than four years… With due respect to their privacy, we are refraining from issuing any other facts or statements related to the issue at this critical juncture.”
Crawford guested on The Buzz to shed light on the issue. He was in pain throughout the live interview. Hurt was written all over his face. Diretso ko siyang tinanong kung bakit sila naghiwalay ni Nikki.
“Nawawala ako. I’m very lost. Very confused. Walang kinalaman si Nikki. It all boils down to me. It’s an indescribable feeling. All this negativity and confusions. The sadness. The hurt. Nikki has not been anything far from good to me. Everything I said (on the VTR) a while ago, she is a dream come true when it comes to finding the right one. But it’s hard to find the right one kung ikaw mismo you are not right. And it’s been a while I think. I don’t know who to blame,” sagot ni Crawford.
Nilinaw niyang walang kasalanan si Nikki sa kanilang paghihiwalay. “Lahat ng tao kasi nakikita nila ako. Masayahin. Matulungin. I try to do everything that I can for everyone to be happy especially the people around me. People that I love. And I forgot what makes me happy. I forgot who I am. I don’t know what I’m doing cause all I know what to do is work. It’s been almost 26 years I’m in this industry. I’ve been everywhere. And this is the first time I have felt this way. That’s why I ask everyone to not blame Nikki. She has no fault. I’m not a perfect guy. I’m not a perfect person. I’ve done some things in my life that I regret and she supported me. She understood. She was there. But I tend to go home by myself. It’s so simple kasi to go around with friends and to enjoy and forget about the problems, whatever you’re going through, especially kung may naririnig kang problema na pinagdadaanan ng mga kaibigan mo. Sobrang daling makalimutan kung ano iyong root, ano yung problema. Nakalimutan ko, ako eh. I’m the one who’s completely lost and I’m searching. I asked her this, give me the chance to find myself. That’s very difficult. (She said) ‘Yeah.’ I tend to hurt and I tend to hurt her. I really don’t want to do this interview for sympathy. I don’t want everybody to feel bad for me. I mean, whatever happens, happens.” Ipinaglaban daw ni Nikki ang kanilang relasyon.
He vehemently denied that there was a third party involved. Inamin din niya na siya ang dahilan ng kanilang paghihiwalay. “Honestly, it’s so hard to love someone and to continue on if I don’t even love myself. If I’m unhappy. I can’t force her to be a certain person who I want her to be. And it’s vice versa. She wasn’t able to force me being someone who she thought I am. So I think sa akin lang, it’s so hard because even ako mismo Tito Boy, that’s why I am searching because I just don’t know… It’s so simple to say na yeah you outgrew each other. It’s four and a half years of, to me, beautiful memories.”
Inamin ni Crawford na mahal pa rin niya si Nikki. “I just fell out off the face of the earth. People see me everyday but they don’t see me when I’m home. I love her. I still do. But it’s unfair to continue if I’m the one… I didn’t want to continue to hurt her because I became distant. And I don’t want to continue to hurt her cause if I continue with this relationship, in the long run hindi na kami magkakatugma, eh. We don’t see eye to eye on things. We are not on the same page.”
What’s his message to Nikki? “I hope you understand.” Is it really the end of their love story? “Only God knows,” he said.
Ano ba ang kanyang panalangin sa mga panahong ito? “Save me. I feel like the devil’s really strong. I feel defeated. All I can ask for is forgiveness and just save me.”
Kaibigan, usap tayo muli!
Points of Boy
by Boy Abunda